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Detroit's Lions

Isn’t it quite strange how only 31 of the 32 NFL teams employ several linesmen to either protect or attack the quarterback; One (1) doles the responsibilities to two (2) animals. The Detroit football team under the blissful incuriosity of journalists, I expect no better, and their unemployed betters - internet sleuths - managed to corral, then train royals of the animal kingdom into service for them. The team trots out each gameday with an Offensive Lion, ironically defending, and a Defensive Lion, on the Prowl!!


In hindsight it seems so obvious, the golden fur disguised in grass emulating natural environments.


Unfortunately, I must refer to the pair without unique distinction as I’ve yet to come across their names and refuse to bestow beast of such ability titles other than proper by their standard.


I have absolutely no idea how team management chose which Lion would play on which side of the ball. As for why, I think its pretty obvious - risk. One (1) lion taking 100% of snaps would not only force the team to open their wallet for such a critical player, sewering their salary cap. I imagine, as well, no matter how hard it would be to teach multiple lions gridiron, finding and coaching up 10 linemen on a week’s notice should a lion tweak a ligament or worse, would be a much higher challenge.



The Detroit football teams offensive lion; revealed. Hidden in the grass it paws - what appear to be linemen are actually limbs of the lion
pictured, Detroit’s Offensive Lion; Hidden in the grass it paws - what appear to be linemen are actually limbs of the lion


After the snap the lion shifts its paws into protection mode
pictured, Detroit’s Offensive Lion in motion after the snap

To pull back the curtain for you even more and connect the obvious dots, there are five (5) Lineman; there are also five (5) limbs on a Lion (yes, a tail counts as a limb, in this argument and my beliefs). Further, why would a team named, the Lions, wear BLUE and SILVER. Quite transparently because YELLOW and GOLD, lion colours, are completely washed out by their opposites dawned by the team since inception.


Any conspiratorial or angry tones coming off this article are misidentified. Like any tinfoil hat wearer, I welcome the majestic. Passion for wishing others see through the looking glass should never be mistaken for derangement. I wish nothing but the best for the Detroit football team and their lions. The teams past decade of struggles shows how hard it is to play with a lion on each side of the ball; or is perhaps evidence of a younger lion replacing an aged veteran.


Either way there is not much meet to the bone of this observation, a rainbow need not be analyzed only noticed. Detroit, out of strategy or ‘sports-teamly’ uncharacteristic dedication to their name opt not for 5 (five) linemen but instead an Offensive Lion and a Defensive Lion.


pictured Detroit's Defensive Lion at the line of scrimmage
pictured Detroit’s Defensive Lion; of course, this is how they play, what were you imaging a lion trapped up in a football uniform

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